Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
It was a NIGHTMARE. I remembered making this statement to a friend a few months earlier "I have nothing I can't get rid of" This was going to make that statement resonate in my mind for many months because I lost 2 things I had never considered losing and really never considered them of value until that moment.
There was much to endure and the bad just got worse. The hardest part was watching how the deterioration of my physical body was also hurting the ones I loved. The mental agony was unbearable at times, but I found strength in what I already knew. I knew what God's word said and I was certain I was his child but the medicine would prove to overcome reason at times and I could not pray.
I lost so much weight that at one point I weighted 98#'s. My husband looked at me through tears one night and said "You can't die". I didn't know what to say, I just said I won't. But would I? At that time it was about 4 months into my illness I realized that I was in a BAD STORM. I began to cry out to GOD. "You've got to get me through this, Help me!" Show me what to tell my husband.
I was home alone sitting in my comfortable chair in despair when GOD sent me a vision. This is what he said/did:
The day was sunny and beautiful, I was outside and the Lord walked up to me, reached out his hand to me and said come. I took his hand and we walked a bit the sun and wind felt do wonderful on my face. He led me to a huge FIRE, the flames were everywhere. When I looked at him, we laughed and he bend down so I could get on his back, AND HE carried me on his back through the fire with the flames all around us-WE LAUGHED. On the other side he sat me down and faded away.
That was my confirmation that he would carry me through, but the biggest thing was I wasn't afraid of a storm actually I love a storm that's why he showed me a fire. I am afraid of fire and it was worse than I thought. It was the most wonderful experience and I felt such peace. Later that day I went back to my bible as I did frequently during the day and as I allowed it to fall open it opened to Judges, my eyes fell on a verse I had never noticed. This is what it said "Thou shalt not die".
I just began thanking the LORD. I couldn't wait until my husband came home to tell him. And I held on to that until it came to pass.
Monday, December 29, 2008
You know like many I'm not one that stands and testify because I'm just not much of a talker. I'm more of a thinker/writer. I find it easier to put things on paper than standing and telling about them. I guess it's just that little quirk of my personality.
My testimony is one of realizing I'm where God wants me to be. Several years ago I lost my husband to a helicopter crash. My world as I knew it came crashing in all around me. A while back before Fred's death we had both befriended a man by the name Pastor Jim Reese. He later became a patient of my husbands and upon one occasion had written a letter to Fred.
In his letter he wrote "Your present burdens have been on my mind since our last visit. I'm sure the testing time will be severe, but I am more certain that he is able to deliver. Please take Hebrews 4:16 as an encouragement." He went on to say "From the moment you placed your faith in Christ, Satan has been trying to harm your faith. He hates the name of your Professional Business and the christian symbol you choose to display. He hates the wonderful art you so boldly display in the offices. He hates you and me and all who have left his evil dominion. I pray that this will only strengthen your faith. I hope that your dear new wife has her personal faith in Christ, for she will share the storm. You and she are on my prayer list. Please let me know of anything I can do. I'm always available and as you said, "I am on a Mission." Signed Pastor Jim Reese. When I pull that letter out and read it it's as if he was a messenger to us. Something was about to happen and he was trying to prepare us.
Upon Fred's death I was given a prayer cloth. I can't really recall who gave it to me. It was with me neatly folded and kept close to my heart for so many days. It became worn and frayed and there were many times I would end up with pink stains on my chest from keeping it with me all the time.
On the cloth were the words of The Third Epistle of John verse 2 (Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth) That anointed cloth stayed me through some pretty hard days. Days when I just wanted to die myself. I didn't want to live and to be honest then I had no fear of dying.
A couple of months back as I was going through some items I had put away in an old plastic baggie. The prayer cloth along with a Casio digital watch that Fred had with him at the time of the accident were both inside the baggie. I began to take each item out for a closer look and realized that strange though it was that watch was still ticking away with the correct time. It's been 8 years now since his death and I can't imagine how a battery could last that long. It has to be unusual.
As I took out the next item I immediately recognized that folded pink prayer cloth I had carried with me for so long. I opened it up and there on that worn and frayed cloth was the words a little hard to see of Oneida Church Of God/Pastor Joey Burns. I think I must have never truly looked at what it had written on it. I saw those words and just stood there in that moment and was amazed. I realized this was Proof I'm where I'm supposed to be and that there is no such thing as a coincidence. I had been struggling for some time if this is where God truly wanted me to be. This was my answer.
Sometimes I think back to that sad time in my life and wonder how on earth did I get from there to here. I know that God has walked with me through it all. Eight years have come and gone since my husbands death and I still grieve from time to time. I have learned to think of it (grief) now as something I put upon a shelf and take down from time to time. So share the storm I did but instead of being bitter I'm thankful for these scars on my heart. They remind me of the time when Jesus walked so close with me.
Dreams upon dreams he gave me as well as visions. One vison that I most recall one night was while I was lying in my bed looking toward the mirror in my master bathroom. I saw the most beautiful floating pink rose petals, they simply floated around and around never touching the ground. I had so many dreams that I began to keep a journal of them. I'm reminded as I read them from time to time how God has been with me through it all and how he's carried me every step of the way.
That prayer cloth is really significant to me. I believe there's great power in that anointing cloth. Maybe just maybe that's why that watch is still ticking. LOL
I am Blessed...............I'm alive today which is proof there is still work for me to do.
Those threads of prayers hold an awful mighty proof to me. GOD IS GOOD.....
If you would like to participate in the Decorating, Games, Food Planning and Cleanup. Please Contact:
Bonnie R.-Menu Preperation
Tim B.- MC
Cupid- Jeff T.
Janet S.-Food Preperation/Tablecloths/Cleanup
Verla F.-Food Preperation
Margie G.-Food Preperation
Joan H.-Food Preperation
COGWC -Pastor Joey B. will be providing certain menu selections.
COGWC-Assistant Pastor Brad S. will manage setup of sound equiptment.
If your name is not shown and you would like to participate please let us know what you would like to work on so we can add you to the list. The more that participate the better. Several others have been asked and we are just waiting for their answer.